"The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as man who created a child and then, by his absence, left the child fatherless and then Godless."
My name is Akilah. 34 years ago I was born in late January. My mother and her best friend went to the hospital once, but it was a false alarm, then again and this time was the real deal! I had arrived and had a whole beautiful life to live.
My mother was single until I was 15 years old. I didn’t realize how hard life really was for us until I grew up and became a mother myself. I genuinely have no idea how she did it by herself, but I’ll give you a glimpse. She never made me feel like a burden. She loved me and supported me behind words. She raised me to love myself, be confident in my abilities and gifts, and she taught me to not hold hatred towards anyone.
I grew up in southeastern Ohio and subsequently in northern Kentucky. Growing up in this part of Ohio was wonderful, because I was surrounded by so many cultures, hippies, and farmers. I was raised and maintain my faith in Islam Al hamdolilah. I am so thankful for the melange of worlds that she exposed me to.
Do you wonder what she spoke of you? She said that you met at college. She said you used to play soccer in Saudi Arabia. She said you knew she was pregnant, but had to go back to Saudi Arabia because your father was sick. As I got older and asked a couple more questions, she told me that you asked her to get married and go back with you, but she declined. I’m not sure what’s true or not, but I will tell you, she never said one bad word about you to me.
This depiction led me to be proud of you. I was proud of where I came from even if I didn’t and still don’t know where there is exactly. I would beam telling friends or people about this illustrious man that is my father. I’m almost 100% certain I embarrassed my mother many times at the masjid when I would tell people about you and how you were never married. Funny now, but my poor mother!
Fast-forward ten or so years and my world changed drastically. My mother passed away when I was 25 years old. My world collapsed and I lost my comfort, my protection from the world, my best friend… I have never felt so alone in the world. This was the first time I decided to try finding you. I called the embassy and sent the emails, but they were no help. I called Ohio University (not to be confused with The Ohio State University.) The only information I was able to acquire from them was conformation that you had in fact attended in the mid to late 80s, but nothing else.
Let’s skip ahead to the good stuff, I am now in my mid-30s, married to a Moroccan man, and we have a beautiful son mashallah, who is pure joy and never ceases to keep me laughing and also on my toes. I’m happy, and I want a chance to gain knowledge of who I am completely. And it honestly, it’s the least you could do.
It’s been nearly a decade of me occasionally typing your name into the Facebook search engine or googling your name for me to get here. I hope that this letter finds you and finds you well truly. I am a good woman because of my mother, and I would love to continue evolving and learning about myself for my son and future children inshallah.
*Akilah says Fahd is originally from Ryadh, but not much else is known. If anyone has any info on Fahd Hedaib or his family feel free to reach out to saudichildrenleftbehind@gmail.com or leave a comment below. Thanks
This post is on behalf of Guadalupe. This is to remind you, Ahmed Yousef Alshayeb, from Al Hofuf KSA, that you fathered a daughter during your 2 year relationship with Guadalupe while you were here in the US for school (remember the ring you bought her?). Your daughter’s name is Alondra.
Apparently, after your daughter was born, you decided to cut off contact with Guadalupe and when she tried to reach out to your family, they blocked her on social media.
This is no way to treat the mother of your child. So to you, and the Alshayeb family..shame on you
Terri has reached out to the website in hopes of locating her father. This is her story:
This is my Father, Ahmed Al Dossary. I was born April 14th 1978 at Lake Forest hospital in Lake Forest, Illinois. I was given up for adoption at at about a month old, and was born without a thyroid. My mother was only 17 years old and a runaway herself, he called her Malik (meaning Angel in Arabic.) Her name was Angela Martin.
I was born Terri Lee Martin, the man who signed my birth certificate was his best friend/ cousin. I think his name was Fahd. or something similar. Details of the man who signed it are, birthday June 1955, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. My father gave my older “adopted” sister an arab barbie to be given to me when I knew the truth of my adoption. I didn’t know I was adopted until I was twelve, I didn’t know alot of truths until Christmas a few years ago.
The things I was told about Ahmed was that he liked horses, cowboys, Andy Kaufman. He could speak 7 languages, and that he did want me. However, he wanted to take me back to Saudi Arabia and raise me muslim.
My biological mother refused to marry him or leave her country. I was about a month old when she found out that I was born without a thyroid, and her guardian’s ex-wife and husband adopted me. She was originally hired to be a nanny to their two youngest boys nanny. My adopted brother Mikey was particularly close to him. I’ve been told he was part of the royal family of Saud. I’m telling this for the sake of identity and not because I want anything more to actually know who he is, besides a face in a picture. Honestly, I’ve lived almost 43 years without him and if he still chooses to not walk through a door I opened for him, it’s on him. but it is opened, and I want him to know he has 2 gorgeous grandsons age 17 and 14.
If anyone has any information about Ahmed Al Dossary, his daughter is trying to contact him. You can email the website at saudichildrenleftbehind@gmail.com
This post is from Ashley who has reached out to us with her story. She has a 1 year old son named Ethan. The biological father’s name is Naif Ali Almasshi (pictured below) His family is originally from Jazan, but currently live in Khobar. Ashley first met Naif while he was here in the US attending school in Florida.
This is her story:
Hello my name is Ashley I am 23 years old. I met a guy from Saudi Arabia two years ago, by mutual friends.
Then several months passed and we started talking again and we started dating and from there a “relationship” was born, which was what I thought it was. Then he asked me to marry him and he came to my house to talk to my mother to get her permission and he gave me even a ring. His father accepted me but his mother did not like me because obviously I was not from his country and she wanted him to marry a woman from his country and even offered him money to leave me but according to him he never wanted. Well, several months passed and I got pregnant. At the beginning I was not sure what to do and obviously how to tell him. The point is that obviously he took it very badly that he did not want the baby and began to treat me very badly and kept telling me that if I have the baby he would go to a lawyer so that I could sign a paper saying that he has nothing to do with the baby. He also told me that he could not have children, that he had taken a test that was impossible when I confronted him and I told him to show me the test he told me that he did not know where was the test.
Since I didn’t know what to do, I told my mother that I was pregnant and I told her that the baby’s father was pressuring me not to have it and that I was afraid that he would do something. She talked to him and he told her that he was going to take care of the baby and that we were getting married. For the summer he went to his country on vacation and he wrote to me once a day, he never called me, at one point he stopped writing and I never heard from him again. He came back here to the United States and friends found out that I was pregnant and he denied the baby completely. That he wasn’t his son because he was out of the country. That it was impossible. I had a very bad pregnancy and they were afraid that I was going to give birth early and one day when I was 29 weeks old I had to run to the hospital because I was bleeding and they couldn’t explain why. I try to contact him and finally after several months he responds when I tell him that the baby would be born prematurely what he told me was “it’s not my problem” and he blocks me. I gave birth at 30 weeks, I sent her a photo on my friend’s phone because he had blocked me from all sides and I told him that the child was born. He unblocks me to tell me to do a DNA test on the child and I told him okay let’s do it but he never answer. I sent him another email and tell him why you are so afraid of taking the test and this bastard comes up with a rudeness and block me again. Until today he is on the street without worries and any type of responsibility.
As of today, Naif has still continued his deadbeat ways and absconded his responsibilities to his son.
Through all this Ashley has told us that Ethan is growing up to be very happy and healthy. We here at SCLB wish them both the very best.
This was a topic I recently addressed on social media. Lately there’s been a recurring trend from women and adult children I communicate with who are interested in coming forward with their stories but are afraid to because of a fraudulent misconception. This prevailing falsehood is just one out of many in a series of lies and deceptions used on the women by these Saudi students during the relationship to get what they wanted, so I feel the time has come to bring up some essential truth.
From those questionable “trips back to Saudi”, to fabrications about his real name, age, which country he’s ‘supposedly’ from, not to mention those fairy tales he spoon fed you about how he was going to put a ring on it, these fly by night Saudis have long since borrowed from the same playbook.
One major deception that has long been perpetuated I so often hear from women who want to come forward, but may be hesitant in doing so, is this:
“I want to find my child’s father but I don’t want to cause trouble for him and his family” This is something I hear from women who are interested in getting the rights due to their child (and rightfully so) but are apprehensive because of their fear of offending these pieces of human garbage who left them in the most selfish way, alone and destitute with a baby. With that said, since when should his or his family’s feelings be taken into consideration? I have news for you, the trouble already started long before you got pregnant. These guys were excited to come to your country and it wasn’t because of school. Secondly, who do you think molded this loser in the first place? Make no mistake..if his family did find out about you they’d no sooner rally around him like soldiers and some lowlife uncle of his would be the first to call you a slut or a whore before hanging up. So whether its going to cause trouble isn’t the issue. They could care less if you attempt to expose them or not, otherwise he wouldn’t have been so comfortable leaving in the first place. The only trouble lies with the fact that he left you high and dry without any financial support. When it comes to how the families of these deadbeats think, the golden rule goes like this..their sons are king, their sh** doesn’t smell, and no woman with a baby is going to change that.
This way of thinking is also deeply ingrained in how the Saudi government has handled this issue historically and as of late…(If you want proof of this, try calling a Saudi embassy and see how the condescending know-nothing on the other line responds). They don’t care about what the father did, you and your child’s welfare, or anything. It’s a secret club and you aren’t in it! Which leads back to the all time famous myth….
“If anyone finds out you’re pregnant I’ll get in trouble” LOL. Did he bother to mention this the whole time he was wooing you during the relationship? This is an emotional microchip they implant into your heads to insure they’ll get out of the situation without accountability. This was no more apparent than when I was growing up when I would tell my mom I wanted to find my Saudi dad, to which she would reply in hysterics “YOU’RE GONNA GET HIM KILLED!!”. A reality check: He’s doing great. He’s living the life back in Saudi, comfortably reveling in the false image he’s cultivated for society. He’s enjoying nice expensive vacations and the finest of leisure money can buy, and while you and your child starve he’s getting fatter by the minute from all the greasy Al-Baik and lamb he’s devouring. Not to mention the many women he’s dining and having affairs with while he’s away from his wife and kids.
In short, you’re doing your child no favors by keeping quiet about these mens transgressions. Being nice and considerate about their feelings isn’t going to help you to afford the diapers or formula for your newborn, or pay for the numerous doctor’s bills if your child is faced with lifelong health issues..or the never ceasing worry how this might be the month you and your kid end up on the streets because you can’t afford the rent. Remember, these guys operate in a singular way. They had a plan when they went abroad to target you for enjoyment, and they have a plan to cover up their deeds if they’re allowed to.
مرحباً بالجميع، هذا المنشور من شمليا والتي تقوم بالبحث عن والدها السعودي الذي لم تقابله قط واسمه عبد الرحمن عزيز الهزاع وهو من سكان الرياض. لقد كان هنا في الولايات المتحدة في العام 1977 في مينيابوليس ، مينيسوتا ، حيث التقى بأم شامليا ، واسمها هو ايرتينيس برانتت ، وأيضاً في منطقة بحيرة الدب الأبيض حيث كان قد التحق بالمدرسة هناك
إذا كان لدى أي شخص معلومات بخصوص المدعو عبد الرحمن عزيز الهزاع، فإن ابنته انتظرت حياتها كلها للاتصال به.
Hello everyone, this post is for Shamelya who is looking for her father, whom she has never met. His name is Abdul Rahman Aziz Alhazza and he is from Riyadh. He was here in the US in 1977 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where he met Shamelya’s mother, her name is Irtense Parent, and also in White Bear Lake, MN where he attended school.
If anyone has information in regards to Abdul Rahman Aziz Alhazza, his daughter has waited her whole life to contact him.
Recently an article was posted that the Saudi embassy is going to force DNA testing to prove paternity on the men who have children while studying abroad. When the embassy was asked about the number of cases their answer was in the single digits. They claim to be in the process of doing the testing now.
First their numbers are way off the mark since I personally have been contacted so many women who have had the same problems with the embassy as everyone else on the blog. This problem has been going on for over 30 years unchecked how can they claim such a small number?
No one on the blog has gotten a response from the Saudi embassy, they still refuse to return phone calls or emails. How are they going to force DNA testing when they refuse to even acknowledge us. I feel as if this is a ploy from the embassy to make themselves look like they are taking charge of the “small” situation. When in fact no one can seem to get through to them.
This problem is not going to go away. We are not going to go away. You say you are going to do DNA testing by all means prove it!! We want the DNA testing done.
Bismillah Rahman al rahim
In response to “a week in an hour” shown in rotana khalejeah channel
After we have seen and analyzed the video we want to tell you our point of view on the subject of the video and how these men approached this sensitive topic of “SAUDI CHILDREN LEFT BEHIND”, we took the video offensive cause these men are generalizing the behavior of other women in America, let me state not all American women are the same. We women do not generalize the Saudi men for what these guys did to us US women are there sons. We know that there are many good men in KSA and we are not trying to belittle all of Saudi Arabia men because we know there are good and bad in every country. We know the situation of SAUDI CHILDREN LEFT BEHIND happens all over the world but the father of children are from kingdom of Saudi Arabia , that is why we opened this blog to prevent other situations with Saudi men and foreign women, and to let the fathers know that their children do exist . We are not looking or wanting money we just want to let our children know that we will do anything for them to keep them content and for their fathers to recognize them. We do not put the pictures of our children to try to get sympathy but just to show the similarities of our children and their Saudi father. We are not trying to get pity from other people around the world but just to show people this is not a lie. We think that the video was posted on a week in an hour” shown in rotana khalejeah channel was more focused on the women and offending us than the children which is not what we are trying to get. “And those who believe and whose families follow them in Faith,- to them shall We join their families: Nor shall We deprive them (of the fruit) of aught of their works: (Yet) is each individual in pledge for his deeds.” (Surah Al Tur 52:21) .The blog is about our children and their fathers not us mothers. We women of “Saudi children left behind” are willing to do DNA anytime if it was possible for the fathers to come back and do DNA with their sons/daughters so we can prove to the readers and followers and the country of KSA that our stories are real and this is not to seek any revenge against the fathers of our children. Our only goal of this blog is to inform the families of their grandchildren in America, prevent these situations again and for women to know what they have done before getting involved in relations with the men of our children. Inshallah We are not trying offend these men of” “a week in an hour” shown in rotana khalejeah channel “
But to show our opinions of there statements on the video.
jazakallah khair
Fathers Responsibility of his Children in ISLAM
The father in essence is the role model of the child and has been given the pedestal of leadership in the home: ‘The man (father/husband) is the keeper and leader of his family’. (Mishkãt).
It’s very clear that by divinely mandated Islamic Law, man bears full responsibility for the care and upbringing his children. Those who willfully violate the Law will be held accountable, especially on the Day of Judgment.
Children are a trust given to the parents. Parents will be held accountable for this trust on the Day of Judgment. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic and essential religious teachings of their children.
If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the consequences on the Day of Judgment. The children will become better citizens and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents, first in this life, and in the Hereafter.
God, Exalted, most High says in the Qur’an:
“And the mothers should suckle their children for two whole years for him who desires s to make complete the time of suckling; and their maintenance and their clothing must be borne by their father according to usage. No soul should have imposed upon it a duty, but to the extent of its capacity; neither shall a mother be made to suffer on account of her child, nor a father on account of his child; and a similar duty (devolves) on the (father’s) heir, but if both desire weaning by mutual consent and counsel, there is no blame on them; and if you wish to engage a wet-nurse for your children, there is no blame on you, so long as you pay what you promised for according to usage; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, and know that Allah sees what you do. Chapter 2, verse 233. **
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
والصلاة والسلام على اشرف الأنبياء وخير المرسلين, نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين
لقد شاهدنا كغيرنا, تسجيل إحدى حلقات برنامج ” أسبوع في ساعة ” والذي عرض على قناة روتانا الخليجية, والذي تناول فيه ضيوف الحلقة موضوع موقع ” الأطفال السعوديين الذين هجرهم آبائهم “, وكيف قام الضيوف بشرح وجهة نظرهم بخصوص هذا الموضوع الحساس, لذا فإننا نرغب في توضيح وجهة نظرنا الخاصة.
لقد ساءنا وبشكل كبير ما وجدناه من اهانات متعمدة من قبل ضيوف الحلقة والذين قاموا بالتشكيك في أخلاق وشرف وتربية كل النساء اللائي نشرن معاناتهن في الموقع, وما زاد من الاهانة ما قام به الضيوف بتعميم هذا التشكيك ليصفوا به كل النساء في الولايات المتحدة الأمريكية.
متناسين أو متجاهلين انه لا يمكن تعميم فكرة ما على مجتمع كامل, فعلى الرغم مما نعانيه وأطفالنا بسبب التصرفات المشينة لبعض الرجال من المملكة العربية السعودية إلا أننا لم نذكر بتاتا أو نشير بشكل مباشر أو غير مباشر إلى تعميم تلك الصفات المشينة على كل المجتمع السعودي, لإيماننا بان كل مجتمع يحوي الجيد والسيئ.
وإننا إذ نعلم بخصوص انتشار هذه القضية والتي تم تناولها في البرنامج, لنؤكد وبشكل قاطع أن سبب وجود موقع ” الأطفال السعوديين الذين هجرهم آبائهم “, هو لمنع تكرر مثل تلك القصص المأساوية, ولكي نتأكد من أن الآباء السعوديين الذين هجروا نسائهم يعلمون بوجود أبناء لهم, لاسيما بعد تعمد معظم أولئك الآباء قطع جميع وسائل الاتصال مع نسائهم.
كما نؤكد على عدم وجود أي أطماع أو مطالبات مادية لدينا, إذ أننا كأمهات مستعدون للتضحية لأجل أبنائنا وكفايتهم من أي حاجة.
وما قمنا به من نشر صور لأطفالنا, لم يكن أبدا بهدف الحصول على العطف, أو الشفقة, ولكن لإظهار الشبه الواضح بين كل طفل وأبيه, وليس محاولة لكسب رأفة المتابعين والقراء, ولكن لإثبات أن ما ذكرناه من قصص هي حقيقة واقعه وليست محض خيال أو افتراء.
إن ما احتواه برنامج ” الأسبوع في ساعة ” من هجوم متعمد ضد الأمهات في موقع ” الأطفال السعوديين الذين هجرهم آبائهم “, لنعتبره اهانة لنا ولأطفالنا, ولا نرتضيه البتة.
قال تعالى في كتابه الحكيم (وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَاتَّبَعَتْهُمْ ذُرِّيَّتُهُم بِإِيمَانٍ أَلْحَقْنَا بِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ وَمَا أَلَتْنَاهُم مِّنْ عَمَلِهِم مِّن شَيْءٍ كُلُّ امْرِئٍ بِمَا كَسَبَ رَهِينٌ). سورة الطور
على الرغم من أن الموقع يتحدث عن الأوضاع المأساوية لأطفال سعوديين, وعما اقترفه آبائهم بحقهم, فإننا نستغرب إقحام الأمهات وجعلهم النقطة الرئيسية للحوار في البرنامج من قبل الضيوف.
مشددين على أننا لا نمانع, القيام باختبار الحمض النووي في أي وقت, لإثبات نسب الأطفال لآبائهم, إذ يمكن لكل أب يريد التأكد من أن يحضر بنفسه للولايات المتحدة الأمريكية للخضوع لهذا الفحص مع أبنائهم / بناتهم, وهذا ينبع من ثقتنا فيما نذكره في الموقع, ولإثبات صحة وواقعية ما نزعم به ضد أولئك الآباء, خاصة أمام قرائنا ومتابعينا, وللملكة العربية السعودية.
لقد كان وما زال الهدف الحقيقي لظهور موقع ” الأبناء السعوديين الذين هجرهم آبائهم “, لكي تعلم الأسر السعودية بوجود أحفاد لهم في الولايات المتحدة الأمريكية, وتسليط الضوء على ما يعانيه أحفادهم من أوضاع بسبب تخلي آبائهم عنهم, وحرصنا على توضيح تلك القضية بشكل مفصل بما يساعد كل الفتيات والنساء على عدم تكرار ما حصل لنا من مأساة.
كما نشير إلى ما وجدناه من تجاهل واضح من جميع الأجهزة والمؤسسات الحكومية والمدنية التابعة للمملكة العربية السعودية, وعلى الرغم من تكرر مراسلاتنا ومناشداتنا لهم, إلا أن الردود (وان وجدت) كانت تخلوا من الجدية.
إننا وبهذا الرد نؤكد أننا لا نهدف إلى اهانة الأشخاص الذين ظهروا في حلقة برنامج ” الأسبوع في ساعة”, بل استخدام حقنا في الرد على ما جاء في الحلقة من حوار نرفضه.
Saudi Children Left Behind 